Emotional Blackmail

Mom came into my room today and casually asked a really awkward question

"how come u didn't wish me mother's day? I wasnt expecting a present or anithing but u didnt even wish me"

I was dumbfounded. Truth is I had been very unfilial lately. You know something must be wrong when 
the only thing my mom says to me is have you finished preparing ur applications yet
the only thing my dad says to me is you may want to consider changing a discipline for uni
the only thing i say to my dad is you cooked the same dinner again
and the only thing i say to my mom is uh ok

I feel utterly guilty when she brought up mothers day. I did think about getting her something but most of such thoughts end up with half hearted shopping attempts. Deep down I also feel like yelling But on my birthday i just get a cake which dad conveniently bought back on the way home from work at her. I really deserve to die.

the problem with me is that i refuse to communicate with my parents. Sounds like rebellious stage of puberty revisited but its more of like a silent protest. I just cannot comprehend and accept certain things they say/do and decisions they make. The part i hate most is they are never appreciative of what i did/achieved but shows off my accomplishments infront of their friends and colleagues. Oh i am so flattered.

Thing is I did not only screw up my relationship with my parents. Friendship is 2nd on the list. My temper is extremely short lately. I have absolutely no idea why. It is as if the patience department of myself just went on a strike. I have been rude, insensitive and irritable. I'll just talk and act without thinking and after a long period of time goes 'oh no i think i have offended this person'. I do not know where to move on next. A part of me says i should be nice and just apologise but another part of me thinks that i have done absolutely nothing wrong. The result is just a cause and effect of the course of action by the other party which triggered my course of reactions. period.

you may now slap me.

jia you bah